Eid Mubarak

After two of the busiest months of my life, I have finally gotten a break-- one whole blissful week off, with no plans.  I couldn’t wait to start my staycation by sleeping in as long as possible and staying in my pajamas all day.  Goal accomplished.  Thanks to the internet, I was able to finish the Dexter series, and work on finishing Breaking Bad.  Nothing like marathon t.v. watching to feel truly lazy.  

I stayed inside my apartment for 3 days until hunger forced me to make an exit.  I really didn’t want to leave my little cell, where Dexter and Walter White were keeping me company.  I realized that I was hiding from the outside, from a place that does not feel like home.  I didn’t even open my curtains, the constant sunshine being so unfamiliar and increasingly annoying.  I think I’m suffering from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) because there is no Fall here.  And the sun won’t stop shining!  

If I sound a little grumpy it's because I am already dreading the end of this week off.  In 4 days I return to work, and I am not exactly happy in my work.  I don’t want to get into it, because I want to enjoy 4 more days of not working (or talking about work).  Aside from hours of eye-bleeding t.v. watching, I have also done a lot of thinking this week.  It has been great to actually have the time to chat and talk to some of my friends and family back home.  At the same time, it makes me even more homesick, especially when I get sad news and want more than anything to be closer to my family and friends to offer hugs and support.  

This may not come as a surprise to some of you, but I might as well make it official:  I’m not going to stay here for 2 years.  I’m calling it quits.  I’ll be giving my notice at the end of next month, finishing out the school year, and moving on.  I am trying not to see this as a failure, but as a gift.  If I hadn’t come here, I would have never realized where I want to be-- where I belong, what is important to me, etc.  I admit, a part of my decision to come here was simply not knowing what I wanted to do.  Part of it was an escape.  And part of it was to open more doors and opportunities.  As a teacher, I am not happy at all in the school where I am teaching.  The only part of it I like is the kids, and I only get to spend 4 hours a day with them, which is not why I went into teaching.  Personally, I have also really struggled with the city life.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE cities, I just don’t think I was meant to live in one.  I never anticipated this aching feeling, physically and spiritually, for nature.  When I feel this way (which is every day) I close my eyes and imagine rain, the smell of pine and cedar, moss, I can feel cold wind on my cheeks and taste salty air, I hear birds of prey shrieking and water splashing, wind moving the branches, a distant howl.  I never realized that I NEED this to feel alive.  Here, I feel like I might as well be living on Mars.  I struggle to find hints of nature, but all I find are stray cats, pigeons, sand, and signs on the beach that say “Beware of jelly fish and sea snakes” (that’s as close as I’m getting to the water).  

I’m still here for 9 more months and I’m going to make the best of it of course.  I have planned 2 bucket list trips sure to nourish my spirit and provide a lifetime of memories to cherish, so this year won’t feel like a total waste.  In December I am going to Africa on a 2 ½ week camping safari through Kenya and Uganda.  I am going to sleep under the stars and marvel at all the animals.  I’m even going to trek mountain gorillas, which has been a dream of mine ever since I was a young girl.  Diane Fossey was one of my heroes.  In April, I am joining a team of women for a 14 day trek to Annapurna base camp in the Himalayas, Nepal.  

In the meantime, I will try to update the blog with more pictures.  However, I have just signed up for NanoWriMo http://nanowrimo.org/ National Novel Writing Month, and am committing to writing 1,000 words each day for the month of November.  This may inspire more blogging, or less, who knows.  

I’ve also just bought tickets to see 12 films at the Abu Dhabi International Film Festival http://www.abudhabifilmfestival.ae/en/ coming up in a couple of weeks.  I plan to post my reviews on this blog.  I’m very excited about the selections I made-- international films, documentaries, and a couple of classics.  I will also get to see a few of them at the Emirates Palace!  So stay tuned…

As always, I appreciate your letters and messages.  Peace out.  And Happy Eid.